I was reading a post on another blog and the topic was about porn. I was surprised to see how many women responded to it saying they don’t care if their husband watches it and some even watched with them! So it got me to thinking and I of course wanted to write about it. I get that there are people out there who aren’t going to agree with me. That’s totally fine. I don’t expect everyone to see it my way. I’m just expressing my opinion.
I’ve seen, too many times, how porn can ruin a marriage. If you say it doesn’t then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Even if you are aware that your husband/boyfriend watches it and you’re totally secure with yourself that doesn’t mean there isn’t potential for future problems. Like any addiction, it starts out small and harmless. You think you can try it once or twice and then walk away from it. That may be true for some. My own husband is a smoker and is finding it really hard to quit. He started when he was deployed in Iraq and it has been a battle to try and stop. I’ve smoked a few times and I’ve never cared for the stuff. Same with alcoholics. They may not have seen it as harmful when they had those first few drinks but then it slowly turned into a dangerous addiction and I bet they never saw it coming. Everyone has a weakness and just because you don’t have a problem with something doesn’t mean someone else is going to be the same way.
For me, personally, I just think porn is downright disgusting. It’s not good for any relationship. It’s not like a popcorn and “movie” night that couples should take up once or twice a week. That’s not going to make your relationship stronger no matter how hard you try to talk yourself into it. Neither is thinking of the other and if you’re a wife that is allowing your husband to watch it with or without you, then you don’t care about guarding his mind or his heart. You are setting your relationship up for big problems. I believe that even though you don’t actually KNOW those people and you aren’t actually physically touching someone else, you are sharing your bed with someone else other then your partner. You’re allowing sexually explicit content into your mind and whether you dwell on it or not those images are there. They are always going to be there. In a moment of weakness it’s now easier to pull up those images and think about them. Then when those images aren’t satisfying enough you go back for more. Like I said earlier, addiction starts out small. Again, you may think it’s harmless to go back and watch just a little bit more, but now look what you’re doing… You’re allowing more images in your head and doing the same thing all over again. Before you know it a pattern develops. Just a little bit more, just a little bit more… You’ve gotten in a little deeper. You’re now up to your knees in addiction. It’s still easy enough to walk away and talk to someone about it and deal with the issue. But if you don’t, you’re just going to get in deeper and deeper until you’re in over your head and you’ve hurt your partner in the meantime. Guilt will eat up at you quick. When people don’t deal with it, eventually it takes you over entirely and starts affecting other areas of your life…
Now, I’m not saying this is how everyone is when it comes to porn or other addictions. Some people can notice a problem and deal with it before it gets out of control. But there are other people out there who struggle with addictions on a daily basis. There are things and people who are constantly tempting them and aiding in there addiction without even realizing it. So bottom line, I’m just saying it’s not a good thing to allow porn into any relationship even if you think it’s harmless. Like I said, you NEVER know. I’ve known quite a few people who I had the utmost respect for, have an affair or some kind of addiction and I bet they never thought they would be in that position. You can’t say, “oh I would never have an affair, I could never be addicted to _____,” etc. It’s more like being in the mindset that you know you HAVE the potential to fall into those kinds of issues, but you try on a daily basis to stay away from that kind of stuff. Instead of just ignoring it and saying, “ah that’ll never happen to me.” You never know when you’ll be caught in a moment of weakness. You have to constantly guard yourself and surround yourself with people who will keep you accountable. I know we all have our faults and no one is perfect, but be wise with what you watch and what you listen to. If it’s something that you know can be potentially harmful why even try it once? Why let it into your life giving it the opportunity to overtake you?
Well that’s all I’m going to write on the subject. I’d be interested to hear other opinions or views on the topic so long as it stays nice. I’m tired so please excuse anything that might not have made sense or any grammar errors.